Ever Changing Moods

If you find my title familiar then NO, that song is not my favorite. And I'm not much a fan of Sitti nowadays. So shut the hell up. I'm harsh, yes I know, and there's a good excuse for that.

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DAMN.
I don't say this word unless I am pissed, depressed, stressed or dead meat.

And yes, right now I'm pissed, depressed, stressed and dead meat.

Pissed. Because I don't like the results of my exams. Okay, I passed but I am not satisfied with what I got. Of course, I have myself to blame because not even once have I studied during exams. Yes, I have been doing that for years but now the result was different. Farther than what I had expected. So maybe it's a wake-up call that I should take it seriously next time?

Depressed. A lot of things had happened lately. And these things really make me sad. I don't like to dwell on the negative or in the past but when the very core of your existence is the main problem, how could you not think of it? I don't mean to dramatize. And all of these things just centralize on my "Asteroid." The hell, when did I start calling him "my Asteroid." I think I should get rid of that before it becomes a habit.

Stressed. I really hate it that I don't have Edward's speed, mind and vulnerability. Or just more than two hands and a brain. If I had it, I could million-task without even eating up much of my time. And I could do a lot more things! Argh. Hundreds of projects, thousands of quizzes and exams, millions of seatworks and gazillions and gazillions of assignments. Why aren't vampires real? I'd rather have them bite me.

Dead meat. My body feels feeble and sometimes it seems that I have no control over it anymore. I may sound crazy in the literal sense but it's the truth. My arms and legs wouldn't respond so I think I'm using my body too much. Maybe going up and down the stairs and running from one building to another everyday wasn't a good idea. Not that I thought it was.

PISSED, DEPRESSED, STRESSED AND DEAD MEAT. Not to mention somnolent, ravenous, stupefied, thwarted, parched and a lot other things.

Thank God:
- For Breaking Dawn. Reading it makes my mind occupied.
- For friends [Sorry. Fake ones aren't included], and family. They save my sanity. I was thinking I'm close to losing it. And The Seed! You guys make me laugh and forget things for a while.
- And for himself of course. Maybe if for myself I wouldn't try to struggle.

I'm moping, am I not? Must be the nerves.

I'll try to stop. No, I'll try. I have to finish my notebook.
Pray for my sanity. Hope it won't go away too soon.